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Life Among the Mormons, and Other Stuff

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Ten Things You Probably Won't Overhear at the White House This Week

This is not a Top Ten List; that might be trademark infringement or some such thing. But it is a list, and it does contain ten items, numbered in descending order. And there are ten of them. No, wait, I already said that.

In case you find some of these too obscure, I've given you some helpful links. But you're on your own for the last two.

10. "Can you give the Congressman a call? He says he just finished reading the bill, and he has some questions."

9. "It's so cool how you can buy all sorts of pro-Obama stuff at Union Station, and there's still nothing anti-Obama in sight."

8. "Hey, check out Sunday's Doonesbury! I'm so glad Garry Trudeau is on board with us running General Motors!"

7. "We can't do that! The Dow could drop to 12,000 or even a little lower!"

6. "We're sure going to miss Robert Novak around here. He was such a friend to all of us!"

5. "I don't think we'll need a teleprompter today. The President can ad-lib this one."

4. "You can never find a Chicago thug when you need one around here."

3. "So, how shall we spend the budget surplus?"

2. "This calls for careful listening and subtle diplomacy. Shall we send the Vice President or the Secretary of State?"

1. "Isn't tomorrow David Rodeback's 21st wedding anniversary? He's one of our biggest fans, and his wife is really cool. We should congratulate them!"

(Actually, the part about MFCC is true enough. So's the part about the anniversary.)

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