David Rodeback's Blog
Local Politics and Culture, National Politics,
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The 2008 Groundhog Awards: Winning Limericks
Better late than never!
From the Master of Ceremonies
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience with the judge, your humble blogger, while he took a few unscheduled days off from blogging to have a life. I am now ready to announce winners in the 2008 LocalCommentary.com Groundhog Day (Observed) Limerick Contest, or 8LGD(O)LC, for short.
The entries this year were numerous and delightful, and the quality was surprisingly high from top to bottom, with a lot of fine limericks clustered right near the top. They have wit. They have edge. They have insight. Some came with titles, some even with historical or political footnotes. One of them came in two versions, one for public consumption and one for my private appreciation (which reportedly led to its author's spouse giving birth to a full-grown female beef). Some of the limericks are erudite, some plain-spoken. They came from published poets and writers and gifted artists and musicians, and from otherwise ordinary people whose bosses probably thought they were working. Among these literary adventurers, it was an actual poet who rhymed "Ahmadinejad," as you will see below. I am in awe.
I thank all who entered. Some will have their efforts published here; others will not -- but rewarded or not, limerick-writing is good for the soul. If I were a huggy person, we would now have a big (virtual) group hug. Since I'm not a huggy person, shall we have some limericks instead?
On second thought, first a story. I happened to be engaged as a substitute lecturer in a freshman survey of literature last week at a post-secondary institution in the area. It was a three-hour evening class, and it was the first night of a unit on poetry. When we came to the end of the regular teacher's lesson plan, and I had already used up a bit of extra Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson I had prepared, we read and analyzed some of these limerick contest entries. The audience -- I mean the class -- loved them.
I have chosen more than one winning limerick in two of the categories, but the winning limericks are by three poets in all, each of whom receives a prize. One of last year's winners, Sam Beeson of American Fork, figures prominently here, along with a couple of new entrants (who happen to be married to each other).
American Fork: First Place
We can boast, we can yell, we can call!
American Fork: Honorable Mention
Marching bands think they've all made the grade,
Though the quest might be less than Homeric, a
2008 Presidential Race: First Place (Tie)
Critics gripe with such glee---"Bush's chin is odd!
In the great presidential campaign
2008 President Race: Honorable Mention
Party A tries to pull him one way.
As Republicans watch them on cable,
Consider the case of Obama.
"Mitt's-too-clever-by-half" complaints hover.
Groundhog Day: First Place (Tie)
In a world full of terror and treason
No Groundhogs Need Apply
The shadow-seer tale came from Germany
(* German holiday from which Groundhog Day was derived)
Reasons for Relish in a Groundhog's Pessimism
Long cold winters inflame the irascible;
Though the ordin'ry groundhog's not brawny,
(Due to the unusually large population of winning limericks, there is no honorable mention in the Groundhog Day category.)
Folks, the bar is set pretty high for next year's contest. Let's have a big round of <applause>applause</applause> for all our poets.
See you next year.
Please note: No striking Hollywood scriptwriters were employed in the making of this program.
Copyright 2008 by David Rodeback.