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Monday, October 16, 2006
Signs of the Times

Here are photos of some signs I saw in southern Utah this weekend. I'm still laughing. You should, too.

The family and I took a pleasant four-day weekend, overnighting in St George and ranging during the days as far as Bryce Canyon and Zion. I could have returned with gigabytes of spectacular digital photography, featuring stunning and colorful landscapes, but others always seemed more interested in using the cameras when we were looking at such wonders. Beside, great photos of all that stuff are a dime a dozen -- or more precisely, $0.25 each or five for a dollar at the gift shops.

Instead, I came home with pictures of a few signs I encountered along the way. I present them here with minimal narrative. (Photos are by yours truly and are copyrighted.)

That St. George Hotel

In St. George we frequent a certain hotel, or maybe it's a motel, I don't know. In any case, we have long observed and enjoyed a certain awkwardness with the English language there, usually in the form of creative spelling. For example, I have been fond of these two doors for a couple of years:


It Must Be Something in the Water

Saturday afternoon it got better. We saw this at the doors of the indoor pool. We think they meant "inconvenience" -- but we also think we know what the pool problem was. One more reason to use the exercise room instead. (By the following morning, apparently, the pool water had been sufficiently filtered.)

First, to prove it was really a pool . . .

Now here's a closeup of the sign:

Yes, Virginia, We Really Were in Southern Utah

This pair of gems is from the main drag in LaVerkin, Utah, and it goes a bit beyond some news stories I heard a while back about LaVerkin and the UN. It also speaks for itself, perhaps.

What Does Virgin Mean, Anyway?

I'm not sure the concept of virgin meshes neatly with something used, such as books. It might be significant that we were in Virgin, Utah. Or it might not. You decide.

We May Want to Disinfect the Pies

I assume that the person responsible for calling a battery of Utah State standardized tests "UPASS" -- later amended for obvious reasons to read "U-PASS" -- is also the genius behind this actual sign at the major intersection in Mt. Carmel Junction, Utah, south of Orderville on US 89.

Now look more closely at the origin of the pies.

I can't top that, so I'm done.

David Rodeback comments (10/19/06):

I adore and treasure each of my readers. Each of you is intelligent, witty, urbane, and many other good things -- above average, at the very least, in all positive categories which might be applied to the human species. If I were a huggy person, I would wish to enfold each of you in an ardent yet Platonic embrace. However, some of you are also very, very experienced in this mortal coil -- how's that for a euphemism for advanced years? -- or younger but inexplicably pure of mind, and do not understand why "ho" in the last photo above is funny. Dictionary.com will explain: "Slang. A prostitute. . . . Alteration of whore."

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